Fuck your New Year's resolutions

Screw Your New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on Posted in Health + Wellness

Yeeeeeeow! Welcome to 2017 . . .

If you’re a human being, chances are you’ve set yourself some pret-ty lofty New Year’s resolutions.

Am I right?

Now, be honest: what are the chances you’ll actually achieve them?

Answer me this:

  1. It’s now April and you’re tired. Will you still be doing everything it takes to make it/them happen?
  2. How many times have you set this resolution/s before?
  3. Will you know exactly, 100 per cent, for sure, the moment you’ve achieved it/them?

If you’re answers are anything like this:

  1. No / probs not / potentially / except for February when I have a party every weekend.
  2. At least three.
  3. WTF do you mean?

Then screw those resolutions.

In fact, I’m outlawing the word ‘resolutions’. From this point forward, they shall be known as ‘super-epic dream goals’ (SEDG).

While you’re at it, why not try a better approach this year? Now, this isn’t the only way of hitting your SEDG, but it’s really effective one.

Or it might not be how you roll. If that’s the case, we can mostly still be friends.

So, drum roll please . . . .

Four steps to setting + achieving goals you actually give a shit about

Dial it back

If you’ve set any more than three, it’s time to cull. Maybe it’s because I’m scared of commitment (34 and single AF, yo!), but if I take on more than a few big things at once, I usually drop my bundle. Especially when it comes to real goals, because they’re generally quite big and require a fair amount of emotional/physical work.

Here’s how I choose my top three.

  1. Work
  2. Personal/spiritual
  3. Health

Set one goal for each section. You don’t even have to do all three. Less is more – just make them count.

Get angry

Okay, maybe not angry, but these goals need to fire you up! If they don’t get your motor running, then how likely is it that you’ll be grinding away at them six months down the track? So make sure you actually want them. Don’t let this be another yearly box-ticking exercise.

Now, be specific. Get intimate with this goal. Know every inch of it, inside out. What does it look like? How does it feel when you’ve achieved it? How will you know when you’ve arrived?

Say no to the nebulous!! Say no to the nebulous!!

Fine-tune that shit

At this point you’ve set a maximum of three SEDG . . . now what?

Now you break them down into bite-size pieces. This way you’ll have an action plan and they won’t seem so overwhelming.

First things first: set a deadline for each one. Make it realistic. If you say “lose 10 kilos in eight weeks”, I will kick the back of your knees when you’re walking.

Second things second: now it’s time to work backwards. Break each goal down into chunks of tasks – monthly, weekly and daily. That’ll keep the ball rolling and you’ll know if you’re still on track.

If it’s not on facebook, it’s not real

You need to go public with your goals – it’s going to keep you accountable. Maybe facey isn’t the best avenue (it definitely isn’t), but tell a handful of people who love you, have your best interests at heart . . . and will kick you in the pants if you lose sight of your dreams.

And that’s it. Wasn’t too hard was it?

Now, go forth and kick serious butt . . . 


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